I was sitting at the dresser, putting my makeup on, while Jason was on the bed behind me. On TV, Cameron Diaz was being interviewed.
Then I heard Jason say, “Oh, you’re so pretty!”
I said, “Are you talking to me or Cameron Diaz?”
When he didn’t answer, I turned around to see him kissing the cat’s nose.
- most pokemon gamers: i've finally bred a pokemon with the perfect nature and the best stats. i haven't showered in three days.
- me: haha wow this pokemon looks neat
my life became 600% better when i started acting like a self obsessed piece of shit like 10/10 would recommend
even if u don’t actually genuinely love yourself its fuckin fun to act like you think you’re the human embodiment of perfection go on try it life’s too short to not fall in love with yourself